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when self care looks like judgement

credit: @thecut

I want to take just a minute of your time to talk about this picture. I love me some Oprah, don’t get me wrong. This isn’t about O. This is about the Cut and then Arianna Huffington’s Instragram posts. This photo is about “self care” apparently, about getting 8 hours of sleep a night, getting your inbox to zero (wtf is that concept?) and having healthy relationships. This post is clearly targeting a female demo. What then happens when women, like me, don’t or can’t get 8 hours of sleep a night, have some pretty dysfunctional relationships with people and have about 5,000 emails in my inbox at work? Should I be striving to make these #goals?

I believe that we want the best for each other as women, I do. I also believe that we want the best for the men in our lives too. I don’t think these #goals apply to men as well, do they? Should they? I think it would be interesting to see if a men’s magazine like GQ talked about summer goals it would be more about getting a ripped 6 pack and finding the perfect whisky stones. Am I wrong? Anybody?

All I’m saying here is that when you’re a woman, even self care comes with judgement which is total bullshit and I’m sure, in some way, a design of patriarchal capitalism. But that’s just a guess. I think if we really want to be free of the shit that makes us want to throw our phones in the toilet because we’ll never live up to these impossible standards, we should all spend less time on Instagram (and I’m talking to myself here) and more time talking to each other about how we really feel. I’m here to tell you how I feel and I hope, if you’re comfortable, you’ll comment or share this with others who might be feeling the same way. Happy Friday y’all. xo Janet

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